Perfectionist Syndrome
Real Title: You Might Want to be Perfect But This is a Myth
What is this Perfectionist Syndrome you speak of?
Really, you don’t know what that is? I can bet you a million bucks (if I had it that is) that you have suffered from this at some point or other.
We all know what perfect and by extension any variations of it like perfectionist means so not going to give you definition of that.
Let’s get right to the point. You are not perfect. I am not perfect. The person next to you is not perfect. Anyone you can think of is not perfect. So you get it right. The not perfect thing. Good.
Now let’s see why I say that.
Many times as authors we tend to get bogged down in the whole I need to make everything I do perfect.
Make my book perfect.
Present that perfect balance of wit, fun and seriousness if that’s your brand to the world.
There is so much out there with how to be an author and do this to make your book perfect.
Follow this rule or that one. Wait no it’s this one…forget that one it’s this one.
Ugghhh….my head is just exploding thinking about it. Well not literally because…ewww…and then I couldn’t share this with you. smile
No matter what stage you’re in for this path you have chosen to create words on a page you get so much information overload. Many of us seek places with likeminded people and many of these people are well intentioned but…well they know what they know and that might not work for you. Yep I’m saying the same as I did in my welcome email and at that start of this newsletter to you and adding to it.
I’M NOT AN EXPERT. NO ONE IS AN EXPERT.
Yes I said it. There are many knowledgeable authors out there but the one who say they know this or that and are an authority is well full of it. The one who say they are always learning and growing those are the ones you want to listen too. Because do you know what they just did when they said that? They admitted that they are not perfect. They admitted that they are learning just as you are. Yes they may have some knowledge on stuff but you need to do what works for you. These knowledgeable authors are always working to get better. They share their failures as well as successes. Beware of any who only say what they succeeded since to me that means they have their finger on the scale so you only see the positive.
For instance, go to any author group (one that is specifically for authors and not readers) and search for grammar or punctuation. Try it. I’ll wait.
Okay you’re back. What did you find? I bet it was a whole lot of debate on what is the correct way to word this and word that. Or where a comma goes or doesn’t. Do you need an editor or not. And so on and so on. Yes, my head exploded again. Refer to my above not real but mythically. Similar to how perfection is a myth. Hey see I worked in a witty there. Maybe. LOL.
There is many who have these conversations who feels they are right in their views. And when you read this you might itch to jump in with your point of view.
Warning, warning danger ahead.
Step away from the keyboard. Don’t get involved. It’s a rabbit hole you will not get out of. It’s an argument you will not win. Why you may ask? Because grammar and punctuation has rules but as any reader who reads the same book will know —you get different things from it that is skewed by your views. Meaning each reader might not get the same thing from a book as someone else. You get the correlation I am going for with grammar and punctuation…come on please do because I’m in no way able to get all technical about it. Okay basically your view of grammar and punctuation may not equal someone else view of the same. Take that for technical. LOL.
Oh boy I can imagine that fierce frown now. No I’m not saying to not know the rules of grammar and punctuation. What I am saying as I did above but it bears repeating again. Yes you should know grammar and punctuation but understand what you think of as it being perfect (yep that word) might not be someone else’s view that it is.
When I write a book then self-edit it before sending it to my team to go through process of getting it edited, proofed and so on to get ready for publishing my goal is not perfection. My goal is to put out the best book I can. See the word best that’s what any of you should strive for.
Why you may ask? Wow you have a lot of questions. Good I like that. And yes I know you’re not really talking to me but I’m talking to me and that’s fine. smile
The reason I say Best is because no matter how you might think your book is perfect it’s not. Because believe me when I tell you, someone will find something they disagree with it in your book. Even if it’s an awesome review they might say there was a problem with the way the hero was portrayed, didn’t like heroine or something. Or they will love everything about book but wish it was longer. So see why perfection is a myth. Since every person will get something different from your words and something you never intended (people can put words or feeling and so on that isn’t even on page) then to strive for perfection is something you will never attain. Instead, ask yourself the below:
Did you enjoy the journey of writing this book? (this is important because if you are not enjoying it then why do it)
Have you done your *Best_* to get the book ready for publication? _
Are you proud to have your name on the book you wrote?
These points in my opinion, are important. If you enjoyed what you wrote then it comes through on the page. If you have done your Best with getting the book ready for publication then you have done the work. If you are proud of what you wrote and to have your name on the book then that’s awesome. These may seem like three simple things but they are powerful. At the end of the day it’s your name on that book. You know the time, journey and all you did for it. The reader of that book may find something that to them that’s not perfect but you the author knows you did your Best.
I want you from this very moment to strike that word—perfect—from your vocabulary in this instance or instances like this. You might use it when you do other stuff but realize when someone says this is perfect that they mean this is their best. Wait I feel another my making up a word coming on. Whew…its okay you’re safe I resisted doing it. smile
Repeat with me
I no longer will give into the perfectionist syndrome. I know that I might want to be perfect but this is a myth. From now on I’m striving to be My Best.
That is another Scibesism for you. (will post on my site that and what it means soon)
Did you feel the power in that statement? The release of the stress that is caused when you are striving for perfection. If you did great. If not then repeat it to yourself as often as needed until you get that perfection is a myth.
When you get that next edit that’s bleeding red you think of what I stated. Then when you have the book all pretty and ready to release then get those first ARC readers comments that might not be as great as you thought- repeat the above again. When your book is released to the world and you don’t get reviews or you get them and they aren’t as great as you thought, or you don’t sell as much as you thought, and (insert whatever item that feels like you want that myth of perfection) then repeat what is above.
You will need to repeat this when you get bogged down with all that information or what others are saying. Heck there are moments I have too. We all will at some point. Remember we are learning and growing so embrace it.
And for those of you who are scoffing at that you know you’re not perfect and this message is useless too you, ask yourself this.
Does it bother me when any of the above – edits, reviews, sales, and etc. – are not what I thought it would be?
I’m betting that million (if I had a million that is) that you answered yes to one if not all of these. So if that is the case go back and read this from beginning now with an open mind. For those of you who have been then carry one. I would have said Rock On but not sure how that’s translate to this. LOL.
Now continuing on or for those who read again welcome to the rest of this. I focused on the mythical perfection of your book but the same thing fits all aspects of your author world and real life. For example when you see that author on some social media who seems to have it all going on. They get high interaction, great content and etc., but you don’t. You might think why can’t I be prefect at this like them.
Ummm…yeah not perfect. They are doing their best. They might be naturally gifted at this social media stuff (which I doubt) but they work at it. If they are like me they just talk about what interests them. Because people will know if you are being false and trying too hard to be that perfect social media maven. So do you. Another example of this is real life and I call it my looking at what my friends are doing. They are doing so and so and why can’t I. This works when it comes to writing too. Stop worrying about what others are doing and do you. Do your Best. And be true to who you are. That’s it.
I’m nowhere near perfect and I’m good with that. I’m My Best as I can be. Now to you, find what is your Best and go and do that. Do what works for you. (I tend to say that a lot and you’ll hear it a lot if you stick around). And I could keep going on this but I’m thinking you’ve got what I was trying to say. And you’re probably tired of me by now. LOL.
Now once more before this is a wrap—say it with me!
I no longer will give into the perfectionist syndrome. I know that I might want to be perfect but this is a myth. From now on I’m striving to be *My Best* .
I so feel like getting that printed out or something. Getting a t-shirt or swag or something. For now I’ll settle on putting it as a Scribesism on my site and social media.
Now go out there and kick butt getting stuff done.
Copyright © Scribes Unleashed, 2018.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: This is cross-posted in various places.
Happy Writing!
Scribes Unleashed
(Taige, McKenna and Talia)
Learning , adventure and sharing
Note: When you see Scribes Unleashed listed as who wrote something that’s me. One person behind 3 alter egos. If you want to know more check any of my sites